Trying Not To Be The Judgemental Mom

Before I had my little one I was so open minded. 

I still like to consider myself open minded, but some things especially when it involves children, completely blows my mind.

Or, if one mum makes a little comment about something I’m doing, my routine or breastfeeding (9/10 I’m sorry but it is always about breastfeeding!), or about why they do controlled crying and why I should, how co-sleeping is bad and why I shouldn’t pick up my son, the list goes on.. – Back to point – I’ll find myself nit picking or judging how they do things with their child.

And I hate doing that because I do believe that everyone brings up the way they want to bring their child up, with their knowledge, their morals and what they believe in.

I would consider myself as a really nature-earth mum aka hippie! 

I like to think of things biologically.

Biologically, I believe as mothers, we are meant to have our children close to us. They’ve been in the womb for 9 months which is cushy and cosy!

So it’s mind blowing to me when people – especially the older generation – are so quick to tell mothers to leave their baby when they are crying because ‘they’ll make a rod for their own back’ even though that newborn cannot fend for itself or even communicate.

I hate societal views on parenting it really does not make sense. 

As mothers we have instincts and we know what’s best for our children, so why are people so quick to tell us what they think is best for our child? 

There has been times where I have questioned the way I do things.

Am I being too soft? Will my child be more independent if I just did controlled crying for goodness sake. Maybe I am always picking him up, maybe I should wean him off breastfeeding he is over one now?

That is only because of other people’s comments. 

But I am telling you once I do deep research. Once I gather my evidence I’m prepared to justify myself In effective ways.

One of the main things I find myself being judgemental about (recently) is the disapline of children.

I mean I’m still finding the best way for disapline, but constantly hearing mothers shout at their child, or telling them to go away or constantly telling them “no, no, no” but not giving them any other attention really irritates my soul.

Of course there’s times when you have no choice but to say no. 

For example my son is fascinated by the oven. He’s also fascinated by plugs for goodness sake. 

So I have to tell him “no!” Because when I’ve said other things such as “ouch burny!” he will quickly poke it and blow his hand and smile so he thinks it’s a game, which is so cute but on a serious level it’s not funny because he could seriously get hurt.

Also seeing children in winter with no socks on in their pushchairs or without a blanket irritates me. There just is no need.. This is what I mean by trying not to be the judgemental mum I wish I could shut off that part of me.

I am not the perfect mum. I question myself daily and I lack confidence but doing research has helped my confidence and I feel like I’m doing an okay job with my little one.

I think everyone does a great job with their child, and everyone has to do what’s best for their family.

I hope no one is offended by this post!

Love,

Louise oxoxo

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